Writing is an art, no doubt about it. One either continues to write and gets better, or one doesn't write, and watches the skill atrophy. I remember watching an interview on TV with Billy Joel saying he practiced songwriting and playing the piano every single day, just to keep getting better. I, for one, believe he has succeeded and will probably continue to improve.
Looking at my last few posts I notice my writing has kinda sucked for a while. My life balance has been a little out of kilter lately, drive...call Linda...sleep...drive...call Linda...sleep...etc, and everything else has suffered, including the writing of the BLOG.
I have been on the road for ten straight weeks this time. My last time home was only three days, which obviously means I drove for four days that week. The fatigue is settling in, along with the homesickness, I'm getting a little cranky, and am beginning to make little mistakes that have added up to blowing my quarterly bonus. So much for the extra money I could have really used...
I lived in Utah for four years about a decade ago. I stayed until I felt in my heart of hearts it was time to go home. It was a fun place to live, but it wasn't home. After ten weeks on the road those same feelings are creeping back into me. I've been away for too long.
It's hard when the biggest reason for being out here is to make the bonus check bigger gets out of balance with the reality that (1) One can only do so much before One needs a break, and (2) I'm not eighteen anymore, and the time between those needed breaks seems to be increasing...
I have successfully defeated my whole purpose for being out here this long.
Back to the balance thing. Lesson learned, I guess... I'm getting myself reset to a three week out, five days at home after this run. It involves my leaving my tractor in Carlisle, PA and driving home, which I bet is the biggest commute to work you have ever heard of, but it increases my home time, which I guess has been the whole point of this post, is becoming more important to me that chasing the elusive "more money". As I have just proven to myself, again, to much of anything is self-defeating.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I had the same debate with myself over summer vacation. I really should be working in the summers. I can't afford to take the time off. But that bout with pneumonia a couple of years ago put things into perspective a bit for me and I started to realize that I might need the down time more than I need the cash. (my creditors disagree, but that is another story...)
Hang in there. If you are starting to see where the balance lies, you are almost there.
We look forward to seeing a little more "down time" in your schedules. You are very wise to recognize the need for more at home time. Guess we all get to that point sooner or later. Relax next weekend, and just recharge the batteries. Things will look brighter when you are rested.
Love you,
Mom
My 17 years in the trucking business had many moments like yours. When I was single with no one special at home, it was fine. But as soon as I began to share my life with someone else, the road became something I did to make ends meet. And like you I searched for a way to do it without being gone for so long. But eventually the road wore me out and I left with no regrets. Let's just say I can definitely relate to you and what you are going through.
Keep it 'tween the Ditches
Post a Comment